-I resolved right before the new year to find creative ways to save and make extra money wherever I can find them. So a while ago I was at Border’s books and wandered across this sign, which advertises a book signing by the famous porn star Tera Patrick. I got out the iphone and looked on ebay where a signed copy of this book “Sinner Takes All” sold for $100. So I used a 33% off coupon to buy the book and waited until tonight to have it signed.
Though the initial motivation was entirely just to resell the signed book, I was also interested in meeting Tera Patrick who in my opinion (and apparently thousands of others) was one of the most beautiful women on planet earth in her prime with that perfect mixture of the exotic Thai complexion and athletic slenderness with the height and full features of a Caucasian (she is now an elderly 33 years old and recently retired from porn. She cleverly filmed a ton of porn scenes in a relatively short time span to be released one per month for about 3 years after she has “retired”.)
I ended up reading the book. It was quite poorly written despite being done “with” a real author (possibly Paul Perry under the double pseudonym of Margaret Cho). It was full of lush and captivating sentences such as .I was mad. .That made me pissed. .That really hurt. I almost put it down after 20 pages, but I started becoming truly captivated by her life.
It wasn’t the post boob job layouts inside that kept me reading, where her cannon balls droop like they’re on the surface of Jupiter (why she wrecked a perfect set of boobs is beyond my understanding). In fact, I find Tera Patrick attractive only in old still photos. I honestly do not find her porn scenes enticing, partly because I have personally donned her the worst actress in the history of porn, as displayed by stunning examples such as this.
As the book went on I amazingly began to empathize with Linda Ann Hopkins(her real name), despite her jaw-dropping shallowness and overt body-based narcissism.
Life master and veteran of numerous incarnations, Tera Patrick signs books for young masturbators. Taken from my iphone
– As an integral nihilist I find absolutely no value distinction whatsoever between the body narcissism of a porn star and the intellectual mind narcissism of say, a political analyst or a sports enthusiast. As I look around at everyone I know it strikes me that there is no ultimate difference between anything we do and what a porn star does. We all whore ourselves out to the delusion of the human experience because we are simply afraid to grow old and die alone and broke, and because there is simply nothing else to do. I have often said that the only *true* act of integrity any human being would be capable of would be to commit suicide in the prime of their life for no reason whatsoever just as a pure protest against the nature of their existence. Good thing I am not terribly concerned about true integrity like I was as an idealistic kid.
Linda decided she wanted to retire from porn and stay monogamous to her husband. Her company Digital Playground would have none of it because they were making a fortune off Tera Patrick. They sued her for breaking contract. They were able to take her name which prevented her from earning and a lot more. She spent 300k just on legal fees and was so distraught from losing her fortune and namesake she tried to commit suicide.
She picked herself up and created her own company, eventually amassing another fortune. Half of the book details her interesting marriage while being a porn star and how it actually worked out. Then her husband decided to become involved in porn and film only scenes with her. When she finally decided she wanted to truly retire from porn, her husband refused and decided to stay in the industry where he was gaining his own notoriety (He’s tatooed with a beer belly tombstone hanging over a fat 9″ cock). She gave him an ultimatum. After a hundred pages detailing their love affair and happiness the appendix states that she split with her husband. Her publisher gave her the option to rewrite the book before release but she decided against it.
Given the option to meditate, attend a Zen satsang, read a book on spirituality, a book by a porn star, or have a trashy book signed by a famous porn star, I find each of these activities on an even level of purposefulness, which is to say roughly none. I see no value distinction between porn stars and priests, meditation and masturbation, dreaming and doing. None of it matters.
This is all just what people do as they’re standing in line… waiting.
I joked to a friend about what it would mean if reincarnation were true and we got to choose our lives and our bodies. Tera Patrick happened to be the one to snatch up one of the most amazing female bodies in the history of humanity. Was it planned? An accident? Did she incarnate just for the pleasure of fucking? As Robert Monroe might wonder, how long is the waiting line for incarnating into stunning bodies like this? Surely only the advanced souls have seniority. Is there a more meaningful way to live?